Hello.

I will be leaving for work in 1 hour's time. There's error in RC, so I can't play right now. Hmph. And you know, the weather's getting hot that nowadays, I find myself sweating eventhough the fan is at its maximum speed. And then, in the middle of the night, I'll find myself waking up and changing position.

And this is on a totally different issue. You know what, I think I have issue on TRUST. I don't know laa. Whenever this person say something, I'll have doubts. In my heart, I will say, "Alah. Mcm betol je" (Alah, like real only). And then, if I don't trust this person that much, another issue starts coming in - JEALOUSY. You see, I'm not fond of people hanging out under void -decks until wee hours of the morning. And then when they hang out, it is usually with a group of people, both males and females. And when he claim that there's no females, in my heart I'll say, "Alah. Banyak lah kau pune takde" (Alah. Like real only don't have). And then if he say that there's females hanging out together, I'll get jealous. Haiyo.

Last time (as in 2 years back), I don't have any issues AT ALL. Whenever this guy (another person) said he'll be going out with a few of his girl friends, I don't mind cause I trust him. He gained that trust in me. But now, I'm getting more and more sensitive to such issues. I'll get angry easily. And when he told me the truth, or what I think is not, I'll start to show attitude and gave sarcastic remarks.

You know, one thing I hate about you is that you keep saying, "I don't know". When I ask something and you said "I don't know", you left me clueless, telling me to make my own conclusions. And what am I supposed to think? Think that everything is fine? Keeping myself happy by assuring myself that everything is fine? Unfortunately, that is not me. Or at least, that is what I used to be. Whenever you said "I don't know", I'll think negatively and all this negativity will keep building up and thus, it will lead to me not trusting you. And then, one day, all this negativity will start to come out and I will rake up the past.

If only you know how I feel and what I've been keeping inside. If only, you start giving me definite answer. If only you'll start to realise. Only one thing that I know, I FEEL INSECURE. I'll get paranoid over the slightest things.

I'm the type of person whereby, all the smallest details are what matters most to me. I'm a 'detail' person.
♥ 3:00 PM