heys.

CAs over. i managed to complete most of the papers though. nah, dont want to think about that anymore. got back my chem paper last fri. i passed. but borderline pass; 26/40. :-(. most probably due to my last minute studying, as per usual.

had my netball chalet last fri. it was a 2 days 1 night chalet at aloha loyang. journey to the chalet certainly brought back memories. the bus passed a few bungalows. i remembered that i used to walk passed that few bungalows with a couple of friends. we were like disturbing the residents there when out of nowhere, 2 black dogs came out and started barking at us. hehe. i remembered laughing with someone. great memories that i won't forget.

so, the chalet was enjoyable. but i was a bit pissed off with a few people because they're self-centered. they only cared about themselves and these few people didnt work well with the rest. those who were around knew who im referring to. AND NINIE, I WONT FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE TOILET. hahah. u know what i mean. i dont have to embarrass myself here. after the chalet, the sec 4s went to pasir ris park. we tried roller-blading. my goodness, i totally sucked at it. i thought i still can roller-blade as i used to play it in the past. but, im wrong. haha. in fact, i had the most falls. man, what a noob. sheesh. must try to get this technique as soon as possible cause i have to teach someone. and if i sucked, it would be a total shame. after the 'O's, im totally going to try this.

today, it was okay for me. a few events happened to me after school. but i think i wont blog about it to save the embarrassment and name. but dont worry, it's totally not your fault. everybody makes mistakes, right?

anyways, i have to attend school up till thursday. i was informed that i was in the amaths remedial on thursday. what to do, im totally bad in amaths.

To _______ (fill in the name)

now, it feels awkward you know. you doing your own thing and im doing mine. maybe partly it's my fault because im totally busy with other things/someone. but even all these happened, i was already feeling awkward when im with you. lately, i didnt get a chance to spend time with you. just you and me. it's not that im selfish or what. maybe you can name me as that but i don't mind and i won't blame you if you called me that cause im just so not used to having you being away from me far too long. you're always around with that person. it's not that i hate that person. i regard that person as my friend too. maybe you wanted time to get to know that person. i understand. but in the middle of last year, i felt that we're not like before. everytime we went out, you are always with that person and im like invisible. maybe i have started to feel like that particular someone but, i just dont know what to say to this anymore. everytime when you're with her, you guys had fun, laughing about matters that i don't know about. i feel outcast. i forced myself to smile on one particular day. you and someone were having fun and i don't want to spoil the day by creating troubles. maybe you don't know how i feel because in reality, i didn't tell this to anyone else. i just kept it to myself. as days went by, you and someone became really close and there was one point when i felt that i totally don't know you at all. i chose to distant myself away from you because im jealous that you're always with someone. i tried to get close to you again but someone was always in the way. im not blaming that someone. maybe you and someone are the best of friends. it's okay. im close to ____ because _____ is always with me. stick to me like a leech; bestfriend. i told ____ about this and ____ said," dont think negative kays. they still regard you as a friend. if not, they would not be inviting you on some events." i thought about it for a while, maybe _____ was right. i should give you more space. maybe you feel more comfortable with someone and not me, it's okays. but deep down, i still regard you as one of my bestest bestest friend. i have no right as to who should be your friend. i distant myself cause i cant bear to see you with someone. i'll just keep this feeling to myself. i don't want to destroy this friendship and your friendship with someone.
♥ 5:14 AM